Oh Chemistree, oh chemistree,
How lovely are your beakers.
You wish your chem lab was as cool as mine.
thoughts on thanksgiving
this is my 22 thanksgiving and it’s one on my most prized holidays.
looking back over this year, i can quickly attest to there being an over flow of life happenings to be thankful for.
- i plan on having a slice of pumpkin pie today and i’m excited.
- i fell asleep last night from 6:30-10pm and have yet to be able to fall back asleep, it’s 2:25am.
- i have so many great friends.
- i’ve gotten a lot done since being awake all of this time: laundry, wrote a couple of letters to send, caught up on my Christmas gifting list, picked up my check from next door (this seems small but it’s dark and scary over there- they’re not home), wrapped my first set of gifts and i’m about to rearrange furniture to accommodate for the Christmas tree
- i’m going to work out in about three hours and THEN i can shower.
his name is Matthew, aka Matt.
i have another blog on tumblr that’s a part of the fitblr community and at the beginning of september i decided that I wanted to start using it more consistently. so with that, i decided to follow some new people that were also active in positing about their health and fitness journey. somehow, I came across Matt’s.
when I start following new people I like to message them and introduce myself. i decided not to do this with Matt because I had read in some of his past posts that he had just gotten out of a relationship and that his family was already trying to hook him up and he wasn’t happy about it. i didn’t want me messaging him to come off as flirting or something that it wasn’t.
however, later that day, he posted this and my heart was so joyful. it was neat to see that someone could relate to God through nature and I just wanted to tell him I thought it was really cool to see someone have a similar experience when hiking. so I did, and we continued to talk. it eventually led to me asking him if we could Skype and then we exchanged numbers.
we gave ourselves a month to just get to know each other and at the end of sept. we knew that we were going to have to meet and started figuring out what that looked like. he booked his tickets and he was in Houston at the end of the october. it was so humbling to see the way God worked through it all. everything has lined up so well.
Matt bought me a coffee cup for my collection and had that note inside of it. he gave it to me after he had met my entire family at a Halloween party.
i said yes.
we don’t know what the future looks like and we’re thankful that we don’t have to. Matt is such a strong man of God and continues to guide us and our relationship in ways that will help us stick to what God has willed for us.
i love praying with him and laughing together. he has every desire to get to know me and my heart and pursue those according to what that looks like biblically. he is such a giver and does it so well. i’m incredibly thankful for him and the potential of our future.
Pictured: our first meal together, him talking to my mom at the halloween party, the flowers he got me after the morning after he asked me, our first picture together (the one where i am on the left)
school: still trucking along. i may have to graduate later then i thought but that’s ok. that would look like taking a class in the summer. (i didn’t know I had to register for winter classes when I registered for the fall)
boys:mclendon is going to propose to his girlfriend soon. i have a boyfriend and his name is Matt. (i’ll write a post about him next)
family:my sister is being induced next week! this will make niece #3, baby Kaden. i am so EXCITED. my brother is on his way to recovery. getting a little stir crazy but he’s making it through. his leg is healing more every day which is making him more mobile, thank you God!
friends: Angela lost her dad last week and the memorial service is this week, we are all trying to cater to her needs during this time. Praying for you and your family too, Asha, during this rough time. two of my friends just bought a house!!!!!! thankful they get to start this new season of their life. ANDDDD Kellie is getting married this month and I am so thankful and blessed by this. the festivities begin this weekend.
God is so good and merciful, I’ve recognized that once again, through the hurt and the joy of these past couple of weeks.
general update on life
brother: by the grace of God, as of today, he has all feeling and most movement in his fingers. he had his big procedure done on Monday where they took muscle from his back and a skin graph from his leg to repair the arm. the arm has lots of swelling and will take months to recover fully but we are thankful it is there. his attitude towards it all is so positive and all he is dealing with is pain. he will definitely have to take it slow for a long while but with hope he will get to come home on Sunday.
school: it’s trucking a long. i think i’ve had more exams this semester than any other. still enjoying it.
church plant: so blessed by it. we launched last sunday and had a little over 100 people in attendance. it has been such a neat and humbling journey to get to where we are gathering independently on Sundays. i am so thankful that i was called to be a part of it and am excited for where it’s going.
dating: there’s potentially a guy. i can talk more about this next week and plan on doing so.
work: still nannying and enjoying it. the kids are in way different phases then i’ve ever experienced with them. both have a little (sometimes a lot of) sass going on and i’m learning patience. thankful for that job. as of two weeks ago, i started picking up shifts at the kids clothing store i used to work for. the manager really needed help.
God is at work, like always. thankful and blessed.
Flower Thursday happened this week!
It felt so good to do this for someone else today. It was a risky one. There’s windows on either side of the door that are completely see through. I’m pretty sure the tv was on and as soon as I set the flowers down, I sprinted away. Thus, I didn’t get a picture of the flowers at the door.
So, included is a picture of the rest of the bunch of flowers that are now on my desk.
Thankful for these opportunities. Will continue to lift up this family in prayer this week.
the past 4 days
there is no denying that God has placed manypeople in my life with love and serving hearts; it has become so evident in the past couple of days. i’ve literally been contacted by at least 20 people regarding my brother’s accident.
when things like this happen, i think i kind of shut down socially in order to avoid the attention and am learning that this isn’t necessarily wrong, but the bible tells us to walk with each other in their burdens and i’m denying that of people that are close to me. telling the story repeatedly is hard and giving updates that i’m trying to accept myself is challenging. i’m thankful that the people who have sought me out, have had grace, patience and understanding with me.
i know once he’s out of the hospital and done with surgeries and is completely focused on just recovering, i’ll be in a much better place but that’s just not now. i’ve had to continuously pray for my joy to be restored. to be reminded that God saved him that night and that alone causes for rejoicing. it’s hardest when i see him and harder on surgery days. today was has been the best day yet.
i guess i’m going to explain the accident now.
he was coming home around 1:30am from a pool place. at around 1:45 the accident happened. he was driving on a two lane road and the other car swerved into his lane causing his rear view mirror to hit my brother’s rear view mirror. my brother’s rear view mirror flew towards him, causing the glass from the mirror to hit my brother’s face and shoulder. the other person’s mirror/car continued to scrape my brother’s arm. my brother went into shock when this happened and continued to drive the 10 miles to my grandparents. (he tells us now that all he could see was his shoulder and thought his arm was gone and that his arm continued to hangout the window as he finished the drive.)
2 God grace bearing facts:
my family travels on saturday’s to my cousins football games and tend to spend the night in that game’s location. this saturday, they chose not to do this. if my grandparents wouldn’t have been home, he would have lost too much blood to make it.
also that if his hand weren’t as much as in tact as it was, he might not still have the lower half of his arm.
he went into an 8.5 hr surgery at around 9:30am sunday morning. they discovered that he broke his arm in four places, (he has two plates covering most of the length of his arm and two major incisions on both sides of his arms), the radial nerve is paralyzed and his hand is severely damaged. the radial nerve is connected to the middle finger, index, and thumb all of which he has little function and no feeling (it will take the radial nerve to waking up in order for him to gain feeling back). the other two fingers are better off. the hand will take lots of reconstructing. he will have to have a muscle taken from his back and planted in his arm. there are two good-sized areas on his forearm that are completely exposed and will need a skin graph. he hasn’t dropped below a level 8 in pain. he will have another cleaning (he has to go under for this procedure because of the exposure) and then will have his second major surgery on monday.
everyone is hanging in there right along side him. his attitude is good towards the entire situation but unfortunately, is in constant pain (we’re on a couple of new pain meds, so hoping to see a difference). we’re thankful for his harm and in prayer for the near future.
resting in God’s favor and love.
sitting in the waiting room while my brother is in surgery. accidents are not fun.
shock. faith. anxiety.
i don’t even know how to explain what my heart is feeling right now. my heart hurts and my body aches for him. to see the pain his body is experiencing and how mad he’s going to be about his jeep and having to be in the hospital for the extended amount of time and his emotions towards having to be out of work for a while.
there’s two ways i can handle this, my natural approach is to curl up and cry, weep and let the amount of blood loss that is so evident on his clothes they cut off and my grandmothers outfit and belongings or be attentive to what’s going on and stay aware of what’s happening during the procedure and throughout the process. i’ve now moved into approach two and definitely get teary eyed when i hear someone’s praying for him and wanting to lend service in anyway to our family but the second approach is the most effective and beneficial for my family.
thankful his arm isn’t going to need be amputated but praying for full recovery in functioning of his hand. thankful for a God who has mighty powers.
seeing my family, once again, come together to support a cause within, is such an unexplainable thing to be a part of; the love and strength that my family possess is so comforting… however, not like the comfort in Christ. glad to have both.
thankful and being patient.
in the past couple of weeks, i’ve been reminded what it means to actually rest in God’s will.
to remember that although i think i have it all figured out, that God might actually have something else planned and there is joy and light to be found in that.
i love that the creator of the universe desires to direct my path in order to not only bring me joy but to glorify him.
maybe i won’t go to grad school right after undergrad, maybe i do stay with my current parish when being asked to go with a close friend, maybe i do have more than one child, and maybe i don’t have a career in public speaking.
psalm 119:10 Job 5: 8-9
Solomon ends this whole thing by saying this, “If you do these things, maybe you’ll walk out of the desert, but in the end, maybe you won’t. In the end, God is the one you must fear.” Now look at me because
I want to say something that’s wildly unpopular, but in the end it’s beautiful. Sometimes, God ordains the desert. Sometimes, it’s not because of sin and it’s not because of disobedience, but because God put you out there. In New Mexico, for some reason, I began reading through the book of Hosea, a real family friendly book in the middle of the Old Testament. Hosea was a normal man who God came to, and He said, “Listen, I want you to marry a hooker.” And Hosea said, “Did you say hooker? Or did you say ‘Read a booker?’ Alright, I lost it there.” And He goes, “No, I said prostitute. I want you to marry a woman of ill repute. And here’s the thing, Hosea. She’s going to be horrible to you. She’s going to cheat on you over and over and over again. She’s going to betray you. And each time she does, I’m going to increase your love for her so that you can’t wash your hands of it and walk away. And you’re going grieve and you’re going to hurt and you’re going to sob and you’re going to wail, but I’m not going to let you walk away from her.”
And you know, the first thing that struck me is that God told Hosea up front. But here’s the thing He says to Hosea in chapter 2, and for me, this left an unbelievable mark on me that I haven’t been able to get away from.
Here’s what He says to Hosea. He says, “Here’s what I’m going to do with Gomer, your cheating wife. I’m going to take her out to the desert, I’m going to allure her, and out in the desert, she’ll finally get tired of herself. And when she finally gets tired of herself…” You want to know the character of God? Listen to what’s next. “…there I will speak tenderly to her.” So, He doesn’t take her out into the desert and go, “Shame on you, woman of ill repute.” He doesn’t take her out into the desert to berate her for her sins or to pile on for her poor decisions, He says, “I’m going to take her out into the desert, and when she’s gasping for water, when she’s exhausted of herself, there I will speak tenderly to her and I will increase her vineyards.”
In the Old Testament, wine and joy are this parallel, they’re equal. Like, if you see wine mentioned, they’re talking about the increase in joy. In fact, even king David said, “You fill
me with greater joy than when grain and new wine abound.” Because wine is kind of this symbol of fruit and life and joy. And He says, “I’ve got to take her out into the desert. I’ve got to take her out there, because the only way to kill certain things is to deprive it of water. And so, I’m going to walk her out into the desert, and I’m going to starve this thing out. And when she’s almost dying, I’m going to speak tenderly to her, and I’m going to increase her joy.” And then, look at me, because the next line to me was so heartbreaking and encouraging.
He says, “And out there, out where it’s dry, she’ll finally learn to quit calling me master and start calling me husband.”
And so, for some of you, please hear me, because I’ve been there. Please hear me. Tonight, your in a dry time not because God’s angry with you, but because He desperately loves you. That’s why. Right now, for some of you, the reason you can’t find Him is because He desperately wants you to really find Him. Are you tracking with that idea? Like, for some of you, He feels far so that you might as Acts 17 says, you might, “grope for Him although He is not far from any of us.”
So, maybe you’ve been allured out there. Maybe it’s not sin, maybe it’s not disobedience, maybe God just said, “Okay, I’ve got to kill some stuff in you. Let’s go.”
“Well, what stuff do You want to kill?”
“Well, I could explain it to you now, but you wouldn’t actually believe that it’s actually in your heart, because it’s really, really deep down. I mean, I’ve got to take the plow to you. Let’s get out of here. Let’s go to the desert.”
“Well, I don’t like the desert.”
“Well, I know you don’t, but let’s get out there. Because out there, I can really do a work in you, a work that will make you quit coming to church and quit doing Christiany stuff. Because you think in the end, I can kill you or that I wish you harm. It’s out here, it’s out in the struggle, it’s out in the fight that you’re finally going to learn that I love you.”
So, sometimes the desert, it’s here for awhile, man. Because I think that’s the question when God goes, “Come on, let’s go to the desert.” “Well, how much water do I need to pack?” Maybe six weeks, maybe six months. Listen to me, maybe six years. This ain’t no Rubix Cube, man. This isn’t math. Some times with God, 2 + 2 doesn’t equal 4. “Come on.” He says, “Come on, let’s go. Out to the desert, come on. It’s dry, it hurts, but pay attention to your feet. Draw near and listen. I have not abandoned you. Pray for real to Me. Don’t the game with Me. I know you’re hiding in the closet. Let’s not play this game. Be honest. It’s where we have to begin. And when I whisper to you, follow Me because I’m trying to get you out of here."
Matt Chandler, Approaching the Divine
Is this real life? Beautiful and intelligent words.